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What do you do with an individual in your family

My father is mule headed oaf. He refuses to listen to me and how to approach my mother. What do I do? hes driving me nuts

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submitted by JeanneG on Thursday, 12/02/2010 - 10:39pm

That has got to be frustrating!Do your parents live together, or is mom in a care center? Do you live with either of them? How often do you see them? Do you think that his approach is harmful to your mother? Are there health care professionals involved? Will your father listen to them more seriously than to his little girl?I can see this from both sides. I would not want our children telling me how to deal with my husband, although I hope I would be open to listening to their ideas.Caring for a loved one with dementia is very, very hard. It is hard for the person who lives with them, hard for the person who is responsible for decision-making, hard for everyone in the family who wants the best for the patient. This would be hard, no matter what your dad's personality and ideas were like.Are there things you can do for your mom in spite of your dad's mule-headedness?

submitted by Heavenlywind on Saturday, 12/04/2010 - 3:41pm

I see them a lot. I live very close. I cant live with them due to my father. I am trying to direct my father into counseling. I am trying to show him what to do when I am gone. It is to no avail. I make sure he checks to see she took her meds when I am gone. It is breaking me apart. I have always been her protectorate.

submitted by Heavenlywind on Saturday, 12/04/2010 - 3:39pm

My father lives with my mom. However, I have found the reason for his mean muleheadedness. He revealed to me that if he had known then what he knew what he knows now he wouldnt have married my mother. I asked why he stays he stated out of obligation. I am now terrified for her. I am a flight attendant so I have to rely on him when I fly. I have given her a key to my house. Instructions to a brother who doesnt believe the statement and I do not know what to do. She will never know what he has revealed because I will not tell her. However, I can not believe this. I can only do so much for her and her protection however, i do not have legal right over her body. So I am at a loss

submitted by JeanneG on Saturday, 12/04/2010 - 6:00pm

How distressing!When you talk about your mom needing protection, do you mean that you think your father might deliberately harm her? Would she be better off in a care center? Is there a case worker or doctor you could talk to about the situation?

submitted by Heavenlywind on Sunday, 12/05/2010 - 9:41pm

He is more verbally abuse. He refuses to learn more. So for Christmas I am digitally reading out loud the36 hr book for him to listen to for Christmas. She just moved. No doctors have been found in the area. he acts like she is incapable of anything. She is not there yet. Its frusterating. He directs his anger and control on me. I stand it for now. I am thinking of legal actions. I also think I am going into a type of mourning for my mother as I see her fade away.

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