The best advice you ever got?

Everyone on this board seems like they have a lot to share. I wanted to know the best advice you ever got about dealing with someone with dementia.

I’ll go first.

A nurse once told me that it was O.K. to fib to my dad to lessen his anxiety. He used to get upset when I was leaving and so I started telling him that I just had to run to the store and would be back in 5 minutes, when really I wouldn’t be back for several days. He was very forgetful and didn’t have a sense of time so this seemed to appease him.  My mom has also done with this him when he is looking for relatives that have passed, like his own parents.

It seems cruel at first until you realize that the TRUTH is difficult to understand sometimes and might hurt of upset them more.


User Posts

submitted by on Tuesday, 11/30/2010 - 6:37pm

Yeah, I had a hard time with these "fiblets" too, especially because my mom lives with me and I feared she'd see thru some of them, but that hasn't been the case.  I also don't tell her too much in advance anymore.  It took me a while to learn how to do this, mostly because she was the person I shared alot with once upon a time.  But now, it's best to wait till the day of to tell her if I'm going out, or if someone is coming to visit or what have you.  Alot less stress for both her and me.  Until I learned this, we would spend all week dealing with her "obsession" over details around an event or a visit, etc.  And by the time whatever it was rolled around, I was the one ready to scream.  Ah lessons learned!

submitted by on Sunday, 11/28/2010 - 12:31am

I like the term "fiblets".  They sure do come in handy. 

submitted by on Wednesday, 11/24/2010 - 2:57am

Someone once told me that these are called "fiblets" and they are quite useful!

submitted by on Monday, 11/22/2010 - 7:57pm

Take one day at a time.  Do not think too far ahead because that creates anxiety.  Deal with one aspect at a time and do it well.  It will make all the difference when you stay in the moment and focus on the current problem at hand.

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