At home, or care facility?
My mother has dementia but in my opinion it is still early and I am glad to live with her to make things as easy as possible.
Thing is, my 67 year old sister just got married in another state where my brother drove mom to be at the wedding. (I wasn’t invited because I have a missing front tooth: sis is the queen of superficial.) While there a couple of things happened that I consider minor. For example, after waking up, Mom would make comments like “Where are we? What are we doing today?” This freaked out my sister and my mother’s sister, neither of whom have seen Mom in over a year, and not since she was diagnosed. Suddenly they are running around saying that mom needs to go to a care home, she is a danger to herself and others, and they are looking for a care facility. At home mom seldom displays this confusion, though she will occasionally ask me things like “Are we the only ones here?” or “Was Carol here last night or was that a dream?” or “What day is this?”. In addition her short term memory is going, and she sometimes uses the wrong word in conversation, though it is always close enough that I understand what she means.
My position is that mom should stay at home as long as possible, where her surroundings are what she expects, her friends are long-term and she has familiar things to do. Also I believe that if she is moved to unfamiliar surroundings her confusion will increase, this will cause stress on her brain and her dementia will probably accelerate.
Their position is that in a care facility they will keep her safe, she will make new friends and have exciting new things to do.
What do others think? Keep her home as long as possible, or move her to a care facility where she will be surrounded by strangers and strangers will care for her?
Thanks for any advice you can give.