Living with Mom’s Dementia

My mother's dementia started about 2 years ago. It started to become apparent that something was wrong about 2.5 years ago at the age of 83. One night she was out to dinner with friends and got lost on her way home. She was driving her car and following someone else home and got confused and lost her way. I have since moved out of the house but my father, age 87 now, is still at  home with her. It has become tougher to care for her. I go over there whenever my dad has to go out somewhere or he takes her with him when he goes out. She can't be home alone. She is experiencing hallucinations daily. She sees women in the driveway who play near my dad's car. in the past few weeks, she has gone outside to talk to the woman and make sure she gets away from the car. she also sees a little boy upstairs and talks to him about not playing near the top of the steps. there are also periods when she thinks my dad is another man named joe and there are 2 joes in the house. she is also confusing my neice, laura, as the other laura.

my mom has always been a very strong, independent and proud woman. now she gets agitated whenever we tell her something she is telling us is not true. we are not sure how to approach the subject of having someone come into the house to help out. this way my dad can still go about his errands and hobbies. he was always very active and social but now he stays home with my mom all of the time. it is breaking his heart to watch her deteriorate this way. he is stressed all of the time and sad. he has had 2 open heart surgeries and now has a pacemaker. she cannot dress herself any longer and has trouble holding it in and not making it to the bathroom in time. she hides things because she thinks the other woman in the house is using her things (the day she lost her makeup bag and we found it behind something under the bathroom sink).