LIVING IN THE MOMENT

We realized about four years ago that grandma was starting to repeat things and was getting a little more forgetful but we just chalked it up to old age. A short time later we noticed she had stopped leaving the house and was not even doing things like going to the grocery store or the beauty salon. Upon further inspection we discovered that her prescriptions had lapsed and her bills were unpaid so it bacme a joint effort for my brother and my daughter to take care of these things. Two years ago I was laid off from my job and since I was the only one in the family without small children and who didn't own my home, it was decided that I would be the best choice to move in and take care of her. My husband and I packed up our belongings, the majority of which are still in storage and came to live with Grandma. In a matter of a few days our entire lives took a totally unexpected turn that would change our whole way of life for years to come. Grandma has progressively gotten more forgetful over the past two years and is at a point now where she only knows what is happening at this very moment. In essence, she has no past because she cannot remember much of it now. Her short term memory was the first to go but as time goes on she has lost the majority of her long term memory too. She remembers the people from her past such as family members but as far as friends, she only remembers those who are still in touch on a regular basis. She became a great-great grandmother for the eighth time a few weeks ago ut only knows this when you tell her, a moment later she doesn't know who's baby she is looking at. Whenever there is a child in the house, she just assumes that it's one of her grandchildren and treats them as such. She has no future because as I said, she doesn't remember anything she's told at this point no matter how important it is. She only has this moment, so it is imperative for us to make every moment for her as happy as possible even though she will not remember it a moment later. At least it is wonderful while she is experiencing it and for the woman who is responsible for the happiness of so many, it is the least that we can do. It is not an easy road and at this point in time my grandma and I have officially traded roles, she is the child and I am the adult, when I think of it in this way it becomes easier to take care of her in the capacity of a caregiver and give her the best care I possibly can. Always remember, it is not their fault and they do not do things just to get on your nerves, treating them like a child is not demeaning, it is necessary and they will not resent you for it because at this point they don't even know how. Give them this moment and make it as wonderful as you can because that is where they live and that is all that matters.